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February 24 2月24號 - "沒有程亮的第265日"也許每一個常在心心裏都有一個程亮。
在沒有程亮的第265日，她給他送上一首 <Vincent, Starry Starry Night> , 紀念2年後2月24日, 這個已經失去了意義的日子。
Starry starry night
paint your palette blue and grey look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills sketch the trees and the daffodils catch the breeze and the winter chills in colors on the snowy linen land. And now I understand what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free. They would not listen they did not know how perhaps they'll listen now. Starry starry night flaming flowers that brightly blaze swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue. Colors changing hue morning fields of amber grain weathered faces lined in pain are smoothed beneath the artist's loving hand. And now I understand what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free. They would not listen they did not know how perhaps they'll listen now. For they could not love you but still your love was true and when no hope was left in sight on that starry starry night. You took your life as lovers often do, But I could have told you Vincent this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. Starry starry night portraits hung in empty halls frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget. Like the stranger that you've met the ragged men in ragged clothes the silver thorn of bloddy rose lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. And now I think I know what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free. They would not listen they're not listening still perhaps they never will. February 20 情人節不過節這幾天遇到了幾個朋友都不約而同地關切地問我上個星期的情人節和誰過了，怎麼過的。感謝大家對我的關心，那我也學近期城中名人般地向大家“交待”一下吧。
自8年前度過的第一個情人節之後，我一直和這個節日無緣，今年也一樣。不管每年我有多麼害怕這個節日的到來，來到的這天，原來我還是照樣開心地過我的日子，首先要感謝Estella的陪伴。我們2個女人過了一個甜蜜的同性Valentine's day。西餐（只有$10.90的early dinner set，不用花錢吃燭光晚餐，超級省錢！），逛街血拼（男友能陪你逛到腿斷嗎？），戲院看Rendition（光是這點已經不用多說了，世界上愛看恐怖片的男人已經絕種了），如果不是電影結束得晚，我們回家後一定還會再開瓶紅酒，然後點燃那兩個超級性感的紫色蠟燭，最後在醉人的香氣裏睡死過去。然後除了不能做“很傻很天真”的事情外，基本上情侶可以做的我們都做了，我還不是活過來了嗎。
當然能收到999朵紅玫瑰，吃一頓燭光晚餐，並且被吻一下的人我還是很羨慕D。但是我已經麻木了，也不想盼了，反正這事情盼也是盼不過來的。盼到的也不見得就是好的。好的又不見得會長久的，長久的...又能長到多久呢？Who? When? How? Better? Forever? Whatever! 別想了，都別想了，工作，拼命投入工作吧！
P/S. 昨天收到了Toffy給我從上海寄來的情人節賀卡，這是我這輩子第一次收到的情人節卡, 感動到不行！
February 19 New Year New Job New Life?對我來說，今年新年是應該以一份新的工作開始的。所以我的2008昨天天才姍姍來遲。
早上5：30起床的時候，天居然還是黑的。突然懷念起從前8點才慢慢掙扎起來的日子......6：30準時出門，朝以往上班路線的反方向開去，是不是注定新的這份工作來了一個180度轉變呢？
新的環境裏，沒有一個熟悉的親切面孔，這是我史料不及的。清一色金發碧眼，讓我這個黑眼睛的亞洲人顯得格外的特殊。經理是一個很幹練且打扮入時的中年女人，說話時候表情很多也很誇張，可是卻緩和了不少這天我的緊張。部門裏還有其他8位牆上盡貼滿家人照片的中年男生，和他們比起來，我更象一個剛出校門的無知學生。他們雖然都說不上熱情，可是都很隨和，只是不知道什麼時候我才能真正融入他們已經成型的圈子。這種奇怪的無依感覺自8年前來澳洲後就再也沒出現過了....
連續2天一個人吃午飯了，幸好世界上還有電話這種可以暫時消遣的東西。感謝Alex，Tony和Maggie在我孤獨進食時在電話那頭的陪伴。但願在短時間內結交更多的新朋友對我來說不會是一個難題吧。
p/s.前2個晚上強迫自己在10點前上床的任務終告失敗，每天輾轉到深夜才昏迷。進入第3個晚上，在10點55分的此刻，我很開心地發現，自己終於悃了... |
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